Divorce Process | The divorce process with children is complex both in terms of the payment of alimony and witness arrangements and also in terms of trying to prevent as much as possible the involvement and harm of the children in the divorce process.
Divorce process with children
Obviously you have something to lose in the divorce process and not just money! You may lose control of your business, your freedom and your relationship with the children if you do not manage things wisely. With 2 decades of experience in achieving fair divorce agreements I will answer you in advance on a large number of your questions and concerns and show you how to avoid legal and financial problems.
A divorce process is a difficult process for all parties, the couple, the nuclear family circle, but also the wider family circle and friends. However, without a shadow of a doubt, the main victims are the children who did not choose this situation, and now face a procedure that in most cases is not short and involves many conflicts in the Family or the Rabbinical Courts. After that, the children are forced to adapt to the new situation of their family, joint custody or not, and their stay arrangements.
Divorce process with children
When a couple is on the verge of a divorce process and they have children, it is important that even before they turn to a divorce lawyer or the courts, they will try to talk to each other and decide that this divorce process will end with respect, partnership, and understanding as much as possible. It is important that the divorcing couple remember that they are divorcing only from the marriage, but not from each other, as the joint children bind them to each other for many years to come. After all, even after the children reach the age of 18 or 21, many events in their lives will include both their parents, and this fact is not changed by the divorce.
In addition, it is more difficult for the couple to comply with a judgment given in the Family Court or the Rabbinical Court, or to comply with the provisions of the divorce agreement that they have formulated. Failure to comply with a ruling or agreement can create a snowball that can also end in the opening of a case in the execution authority.
When divorcing with young children, you should pay attention to the following:
The younger the children are, the harder it is to get divorced and more attention should be paid to the details concerning the children and their lifestyle. So what should spouses pay attention to when they are on the verge of a divorce process with children? Whether the couple has chosen to formulate a divorce agreement themselves, or whether they have chosen to go to court.
Education of children – Sometimes the parents are divorcing due to disputes which is related to their views, but even if this is not the case, disputes can always arise regarding the education that the children will receive. In order to avoid disputes, the matter must be settled within the judgment or divorce agreement.
Economy – As it is well known, the expenses of children can be high. The daily conduct costs a lot of money, and in addition there are children who need special care and special expenses. It is advisable for each spouse to estimate the expenses for the children, in order for these questions to be embodied into the judgment or divorce agreement.
There are other details that within the complex and complicated divorce process, it is difficult to think about all of them and get down to their details. For example, the issue of children’s transportation. Who will take the children to school? To the kindergarten? If the parents live far away from each other, who is responsible for bringing or returning the child when custody ends? Another issue is the issue of communication with health officials or educational institutions. Who is the parent who will communicate on a daily basis with these institutions? How will decisions on these issues be made?
Women’s rights in divorce with children
A woman has many rights concerning her children with regard to divorce, division of flats, custody of the children or preschoolers, child support, and even in some cases wife support. It is worth noting that today there is progress in the approach of the courts, social workers, welfare workers, and all those involved in the field, so equality between man and woman should be strived for, that is – whatever the woman receives, the man will receive and vice versa. In terms of male rights in the family, whether it is the burden of alimony or custody – even in early childhood. Many judges today understand that the child needs both parents in his life, and if in the past the woman would receive full custody of the children and the alimony would all be imposed on the man, then today the situation is different. Judge Rotem Kodler Ayash spoke about the same change in the Family Court file of 13620-07-12:
“It should be considered that in recent years a new approach has developed and sought to suppress the legal concept concerning the custody of minors and determining a custodial parent and instead to impose new legal principles based on a model of parental responsibility, on the background of the desire of a shared parental responsibility which is expressing the joint guardianship that was determined in Israeli law. This model is based on the findings of studies that indicated the importance of the role of both parents in the development of their children. The importance becomes even more significant when the parents divorce. The conclusions of those studies were that the more fathers were involved in their children’s lives and were given the opportunity to provide children with emotional support and security and helped address their educational, functional, and social needs, those minors functioned better at social levels and adapted to the divorce, better than those who did not have both parents present in their upbringing.”
However, and despite the change in perception, it should be pointed out that in some cases and when the circumstances justify it, the court will skew its ruling in favor of the wife and children. For example, when it comes to a toddler, the court will award more time to the mother. Moreover, when the division of an apartment is at stake, it will be a priority that the mother buys the father’s share in the apartment or reimburses the father the mortgage payments, and thus gets to continue living in the apartment with the joint children. This arrangement will be better for the children who will not have to re-adapt to a different home and environment than the one they are used to.
Divorce process
As mentioned, a divorce lawsuit is not a simple thing, and the issues at hand can be more complicated and complex when there are children in the picture especially when it comes to young children. In this situation, it is more important than ever to pay attention to the needs of the children, and their well-being, even if it conflicts with the interest of the parent. When divorces involve joint children, it is very important to consult a divorce lawyer, even if the couple has chosen to try a way of dialogue through mediation and not go to court. It is also important to be represented in the mediation process, certainly when there are children, so that the lawyer draws attention to the clauses that should be included in the divorce agreement, and above all – represent the parent and protect his interests. If the couple is not interested in seeking mediation for their own reasons, it is important to act with as much consideration, respect and good spirit as possible within the walls of the court. Keep in mind that this affects children now and in the future.
Documenting materials and gathering evidence to initiate divorce proceedings
From my experience, I know that many divorcees are unaware of the importance of documenting the materials and evidence prior to trial. Lack of documentation can adversely affect the outcome of the proceedings as the court relies on evidence. When one spouse realizes that it is time to break up the family unit even though he has tried to avoid it, but the understanding comes that there is no choice, then it is important to act on several levels to preserve your rights and carry out the separation process in a way that avoids as much as possible, any harm to the children, to your financial well-being and standard of living. The first tip I want to offer deals with the economic aspects of separation.
For starters, it is important to start documenting and gathering materials and evidence including recording conversations and situations that are essential to the divorce process. In order to use these materials in court, it is important to get specific guidance from an attorney regarding the observance of the Privacy Protection Act and the Wiretapping Act. Observance of these laws will ensure that you can use the materials in the future and receive the rights you deserve. Should you choose not to collect materials, there is a possibility that you will not be able to prove your claims, and worse, the other party may use it against you.
Be sure to document evidence in accordance with the law after consulting a family lawyer, it will protect you and guarantee your rights, otherwise, you risk severe punishment.
I invite you to watch more videos in the series. Know that every action you take from now on, from the moment the decision to divorce is made, has a bearing on your way forward. I recommend that you arrive as prepared as possible for the process, equipped with the knowledge, facts, and appropriate professional help in order for you to complete the divorce in the best way for you.
